As a Social Action Rep for the Representation Project, I was recently asked to reach out to men in my life and encourage them to sign the pledge:
“I pledge to use my voice to challenge society’s limiting representations of gender.”
This seemed like a great reminder to take stock of what men are currently doing to battle sexism, challenge stereotypes about gender, and speak out against violence.
It is amazing to me how many people think that feminism is only a "woman's issue"--men have always been part of the feminist movement, and I personally have had the privilege of working with a number of men who are fiercely dedicated to work for gender equality. Yet, stereotypes about feminism being "man-hating" or anti-male persist. As such it does seem to be particularly important to highlight ways in which men are, and can be, engaged in the movement.
The Representation Project sought to highlight the work of Tony Porter, the cofounder of A Call to Men: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. Porter is committed to challenging violence against women and challenging stereotypes about masculinity which can reinforce violence. I recently joined the board of directors at Pittsburgh Action Against Rape (PAAR). One of the things I am most excited about is PAAR’s work implementing Coaching Boys into Men a national program designed to educate coaches and athletes about how they can stop sexual violence.
The Huffington Post recently did a story in which they highlighted 28 male celebrities who have openly advocated for women in some way. The range of celebrities highlighted was important to notice--they include athletes, TV and movie stars, comedians, and politicians. These men have been outspoken about a variety of issues including ending violence against women, decreasing the sexualization of women, and decreasing discrimination against women. It was interesting to note that many of these men referenced women in their lives who helped them develop their consciousness about these issues. They all shared the assertion that men should be involved in these issues, with many pointing out that everyone would benefit from a world without sexism.
Check out the article—the range of work being done by these men is inspiring. Here some of my favorite quotes:
“All men should be feminists. If men care about women's rights the world will be a better place... We are better off when women are empowered -- it leads to a better society."
“I think [misogyny] is like a disease that needs to be cured. And if we could eradicate Polio, I don’t see why we can’t eradicate misogyny."
Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition.
Next week I will be attending the American Psychological Association conference in Washington, DC. While I am there I will attend a number of events hosted by the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity (SPSMM; Division 51 of APA). Many of the members of this division have dedicated their professional lives to examining the ways in which gender shapes and constricts men’s lives. The board members recently produced a statement addressing the intersections of masculinity, violence, and mental health.
These examples highlight the huge range of ways that men can be involved in challenging sexism--whether they identify publicly as feminist, dedicate their careers to examining gender, or simply support their son’s decision to wear a dress. Men have an important role to play in the movement for gender equality. And not just because it is good for women—feminism is for everybody! As the SPSMM’s mission statement affirms:
“..the empowerment of all persons beyond narrow and restrictive gender role definitions leads to the highest level of functioning in individual women and men, to the most healthy interactions between the genders, and to the richest relationships between them."
Have you ever experienced street harassment? Have you played the game Cards Against Humanity? Well-if you said no to either question then 1) you are probably not a woman but should still read this post, and 2) you should get that game for your next gathering—it is loads of fun.
If, however, you said yes—then have I got something for you!
Or more accurately—the creator of Cards Against Harassment—does.
These cards are a new and creative way to deal with street harassment—an old and uninspired form of sexism.
According to her website, these cards were developed as a way for individuals to respond to street harassers. The cards are funny, imaginative, and get right to the point.
As I read through the cards I found myself saying, “No—this one is my favorite!” I could absolutely remember scenarios in which each would have been the perfect response. Because I run as a hobby and bike or walk to commute, I found this one especially relevant:
Ahh, Summer: the perfect time to get outside and get active. Too bad you had to go and ruin it.
The cards can be downloaded and printed from the website. People can choose to make them two-sided with options for the back to include either “Keep it to yourself” or “Next time, just say hello.”
Which I also love—not only do the cards point out how a behavior is making a women feel, they give suggestions about what to do differently. It is ok to be polite and say hello to strangers. It is NOT ok to make harassing comments, gestures, noises, etc.
Love, love, love all of it!
The women who developed the website has also started a project where she videos her interactions with strangers who harass her and how they respond when she gives them one of her cards. She points out in numerous places on her website that she does not think that all women should confront street harassment all of the time, but that women should make their own decisions about their safety and how they want to respond.
That being said, some of the responses of the men she confronts provide insight into why this project is even needed and is a depressing depiction of some men’s feelings about women (check out this article on Jezebel about the videos).
The website also includes an FAQ section that well articulated the issues around street harassment. Two of the points made stood out to me in particular.
“A handy (although problematic) rule of thumb for many men is: if it's a comment you would make if she were walking arm in arm with a male companion, then it's probably an actual compliment.”
This quote was taken from an explanation about how street harassment differs from genuine compliments about women’s fashion choices (e.g. complimenting a woman’s outfit in some way). I think the advice is useful in providing some guidance, but really this comment stood out to me for another reason. It provides an important reminder that woman almost never experience street harassment if they are walking with a man. Which does NOT mean that women should always walk arm in arm with a male companion. What it DOES mean is that many men are probably not aware of how often street harassment occurs, how degrading it can be, and how it can make women feel.
This is another reason that this project is so important—it serves as a way for men to learn about street harassment: either as the recipient of a Card Against Harassment or when women share them with their male friends, colleagues and family to help educate them about harassment.
Recently, I was talking to my husband about street harassment. I told him that while I was walking home that day someone honked at me and I couldn’t figure out who it was. This led to a discussion about the fact that I used to always ignore honking—that I would sometimes show up to work and have someone tell me that they “saw me running the other day and honked” but I must not have seen them. I didn’t see them. Because I didn’t look. It was interesting for me to realize that since moving to Pittsburgh I have experienced such a decrease in street harassment that my first instinct when someone was honking at me was to assume it was someone I knew. That is such a huge shift from how I felt anywhere else I have lived and is a result of experiencing so much less street harassment. I have yet to completely understand why—I am certain the street harassment occurs here and I do occasionally experience it myself, it is just not a part of my daily life in the way it used to be.
For the most part, I feel grateful for this shift. It is a relief to not leave the house “bracing” myself for street harassment. It is nice to actually wave to my friends when they drive by, instead of avoiding eye contact with drivers.
However, I also find that I am caught off guard when street harassment does happen. I have come to anticipate that most of my interactions with strangers will be pleasant and well-intentioned. In fact, during my recent travels this summer I found myself truly surprised by an interaction I had with a young man. I was visiting Fort Collins (where I went to graduate school) and walking to one of my old favorite cafés to eat lunch and do some work. It was a beautiful day and I was listening to music on my headphones—enjoying the nostalgia of being back in a town where I spent some formative years. A young man walked up to me and I assumed he was going to ask for directions (which I would find amusing as once-native-now-visitor).
Instead he made a comment about my looks and insisted that I should go on a date with him. When I said “no thanks” he asked why not and I walked away.
Suddenly my beautiful, fun day felt icky.
Which brings me to the second point made on the Cards Against Harassment website that really hit home for me:
“At worst, it makes women feel unsafe because it forces them to wonder: if this man feels entitled to comment on my appearance, what's to stop him from trying to touch me, or follow me?”
Yup. I found myself being very relieved that it was the middle of the day and I was heading to a public place. Had I been walking back to my hotel I likely would have circled around or found a public place to go to instead.
That’s the thing that some men don’t seem to understand about street harassment.
That’s what makes it about privilege.
It is not just that some people (i.e. most men) rarely experience the “annoyance” of street harassment. It is that they don’t have to live with all the other implications that come with it: the fear of violence, the expectation that women’s bodies exist to please and entertain men, the sense of entitlement that some men feel to treat women however they want.
It is the cumulative effect which makes street harassment a big deal.
Living in a place where I enjoy not anticipating street harassment in my daily life has made me appreciate the value of feeling safe. I want more of it. And I want everyone to feel that way.
Check out the website. Share with your friends. Print out the cards. Design your own. Let’s see what happens.
By sheer coincidence, I have a number of friends with preschool aged daughters. As a result, over the past couple of years I have engaged in numerous conversations about princesses. As a researcher of Girls’ Studies I had already thought a lot about princesses and read some great pieces of research examining the impact of them of children (one of my favorites being “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” by Peggy Orenstein ). Despite this, I have often found myself amazed at the scope and depth of princess mania. Just this summer I interacted with friends’ children in Northern Ireland, Colorado, and here in Pittsburgh, and all of them brought up the movie Frozen. Maybe I was inadvertently prompting them, but mostly I just asked them the standard kid-questions: What are you doing? Watching Frozen! Do you want to play a game? Let’s play Frozen! and on and on.
Every conversation I have with a parent about their child’s (usually, but not always their daughter’s) interest in princesses is unique, as every family is unique. But there are some important themes I have heard: 1) parents are concerned about princess mania and the possible negative impact on their child, 2) parents sense that banning princesses outright will not be effective or possible, and 3) parents wonder if they are overreacting to princess mania. Each family has found their own way to cope with their concerns, but the fact that I have had so many conversations about this topic suggests to me that there is a lot of continued anxiety about what to do.
Now, of course this is a limited scope of people (my friends!) but these themes mirror those raised by parents during more systematic and scientific data gathering approaches (i.e. research studies).
Parents might wonder if they are worrying too much because any one princess story is not that bad (ok, except for the Little Mermaid. I mean, come on. She has to give up her voice so she can find a man?!? Using nothing but her good looks and her infantile charm that is a product of the fact that she just learned to walk!!) But I digress. Many of the traditional stories do contain nuggets of positive features. Belle is able to see the best in the Beast and help him become a better man (of course, she is his slave—but there I go again!).
Now, obviously princesses are not new. Most of the princesses that children today are exposed to are the same ones that Disney portrayed when I was a kid—most of those existed as legends shared in spoken and written formats for centuries.
If I am in a charitable mood, I will even say that Disney has made some attempts to add in non-traditional princesses to their lexicon. Mulan wants to be a warrior (of course that movie sets ridiculous expectations about masculinity); Repunzel is clever, and Tiana was the first non-White princess.
Despite these new (and improved?) princesses, it is the ways in which princesses haven’t changed and the ways in which princess mania HAS changed that gives parents reasons to be concerned.
Princesses continue to reinforce traditional gender roles and the sexualization of girls and women, almost without exception. Even those princesses that are given opportunities to demonstrate strength and courage are often drawn with traditional notions of beauty in mind. It is this persistent presentation of a limited view of girls, women, and femininity that is the problem.
One example of this that I found rather startling was in the film Frozen—yup the one that kids seem to love. There are certainly many great points about the movie. Personally, I get the biggest kick out of the snowman who loves summer.... The film’s hit song “Let it Go” has received critical acclaim and even won an Oscar for best song. It is a catchy song and has an empowering message about being yourself and not hiding who you are from others. Great, right? Kids around the world seem to be obsessed with this song in particular (I know my friends’ daughters do an amazing rendition of it).
If only it were that simple.
Recently, my husband happened to catch a glimpse of the film during the performance of the song (how he managed to avoid it until now I will never know) and asked with all genuine curiosity, “Why did the princess suddenly transform into a skinny blond?”
Yup. That she does. Well-sort of.
You can watch for yourself—the transformation takes place at about 3: 15
She was actually always blond, but suddenly in the song she shakes out her hair (really!), is suddenly wearing a slim fitting dress with a long slit up the leg, and sways her hips while she walks.
Of course parents are worried about princess mania!
I get that the filmmakers wanted to demonstrate her transformation in a visual way. Fine. But there are SO MANY options they could have taken. But they opted for the classic hypersexualization approach—because being sexy means being empowered, right?
Wrong--that’s what we call “empowertainment"--using themes that appear to be empowering but with the intention of entertaining others or selling something.
So. That hasn’t changed much. Now, what has changed?
Princesses mania is not new but seems to have grown—likely as a result of increased focus on consumerism. Scholars have argued that the big change we have seen is an increase in marketers working to sell stuff to children, and reinforcing many traditional ideas about gender in the process. (See the books Packaging Girlhood and Packaging Boyhood for examinations of the intersections of marketing and gender). These days it seems almost impossible to go anywhere without seeing products being sold that have a “princess” spin on them.
This summer I visited Yellowstone with my family. I grew up in the Western USA and we went to Yellowstone almost every year during my childhood (sometimes more than once a year). One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to participate in the “Junior Ranger” activities that were available in the visitor centers and earning a badge for doing so. This year, I noticed a “new” line of products: Park Princess. In one gift shop there was a big section of Junior Ranger gear and another section next to it that was covered in pink “Park Princess” gifts. They even have vests: a green one labeled “Kids’ Park Ranger Vest” and a pink one called the “Girls’ Yellowstone Park Princess Vest.”
I was sad to see that princess mania had invaded my beloved national park.
If you have read this far into the blog, you might not believe what I say next, but it is true.
I have nothing against princesses. Or the color pink. I think hearing fairy tales and playing princess can be a healthy part of any (female or male) child’s development. It is the mania part that concerns me. The emphasis on one way of being in the world that has permeated all areas of a kid’s life. The exclusionary nature that sends the message that girls should focus on being pretty above all else.
Luckily, some people are working to challenge this narrative.
The Princess Free Zone includes a blog and a brand designed to provide options for girls beyond the typical princess gear. Rejected Princesses is a new blog developed by an illustrator who is developing pictures and telling the stories of women who are too powerful or offbeat to fit into most people’s definitions of a “princess.” My husband and I love the show "Once Upon a Time" which puts a new spin go
Sadly, there are few other female protagonists in children’s media, so it makes sense that lots of girls would be drawn toward princesses. And princesses can be part of a really good story. But girls deserve to have a wide range of female icons to look up to—they deserve to see diverse perspective about what it means to be female and to imagine themselves in lots of different roles and excelling in many different areas. Kids have the potential to dream big--both for themselves and the world. Let's stop limiting them with our need to fit everything into a tiny, pink, princess box.
When I teach students about social issues I often face some resistance to the topic, particularly when trying to discuss how a phenomenon is impacted by underlying assumptions, stereotypes, or inequalities. Students sometimes resist the idea that an issue is about discrimination against one group and cleave to more surface explanations.
One of the most common times that this occurs is when we discuss rape myths. I read a number of statements and students have to move to different places in the room depending upon the extent to which they agree or disagree with the statement. Some of the statements are fairly noncontroversial and simple—others get more complex. One statement reads “The way a woman dresses indicates her desire for sex.” Obviously the goal is to get students thinking about attitudes that contribute to victim blaming—one of the most common ones being that women “ask for it” because of how they dress, walk, drink, etc.
After students pick their place in the room, we discuss the statement and their reaction to it. This statement often brings up a lot of mixed feelings for individuals. And then I turn things on their head and ask students “How would a man dress if he wanted to indicate his desire for sex?”
Without fail, this statement is followed by laughter. Students’ first reaction to the question is that it is absurd. The same students who might have argued that in some way women should know that how they dress sends a message about what they want suddenly are at a loss for words.
I tell students that this can be a very useful tool when they are trying to evaluate something that is going on in the world and question whether or not it is about discrimination against one group. Simply examine how the phenomenon applies to a different group.
After the Supreme Court’s recent decision to strike down a Massachusetts law that created a buffer zone protecting individuals entering and exiting abortion clinics I have wondered how to get people to see the underlying issues at hand. The Court argued that the law violated the 1st Amendment and placed too many restrictions on people’s freedom of speech.
Some people have tried to claim that the decision was simply about protecting Americans’ rights to free speech and to protest and wasn’t really about discriminating against women’s reproductive rights.
I have been hoping that someone would turn that argument on its head.
And someone did.
Her name is Rachel Maddow.
In her June 26th show, Rachel outlines the history of violence surrounding abortion clinics and compares it to the violence that has taken place in other areas that have buffer zones. None of those zones are being challenged with this new decision.
Check out the piece—it is an amazingly well researched and thoughtful approach to making sense of this Supreme Court decision. And remember this argument when you hear people claiming that the decision is not about reproductive rights. It just might leave them speechless.
Well, that didn’t last long. And by “that” I mean my recent intention to write more positive blogs about all the wonderful accomplishments happening in social movements.
I really meant that intention.
And then THIS happened.
The Supreme Court struck down Massachusetts’ law regarding a “buffer zone” for women getting an abortion to protect them from protesters.
And THIS happened.
The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby—whose owners don’t want to provide coverage of certain forms of birth control for their employees, claiming that their right to “religious freedom” should exempt them from the provision in the Affordable Care Act with requires them to do so.
Now, I don’t want to sound like Chicken Little, but I feel a bit like screaming “wake up, everyone! The sky is falling!”
I absolutely support free speech and freedom of religion. But both of those rights have limitations. You are not allowed to falsely yell “fire” in a crowded theater. The freedom to say whatever you want is limited when it infringes on other people’s rights to safety.
Unless, of course, those “other people” are women making their own decisions about their reproductive lives.
And freedom of religion is the right to practice one’s religion—not to impose it on other people. Does anyone think that in ANY OTHER context the court would decide that a small group of people with a lot of power (a.k.a. your bosses) can impose their religious beliefs on a larger group of people with less power (a.k.a. a group of employees)? That is NOT freedom of religion. Anyone who thinks that yesterday's decision is about religious freedom is either lying to themselves or willfully naive.
Both of these decisions are about politics and power.
It became clear to me as I was reading CNN’s report on the latest decision that some see this as a “win” in their battle to oppose anything President Obama supports—that this decision will somehow lead to the dismantling of the Affordable Care Act. There is nothing so childish as making a decision that restricts the rights of women in order to say “take that, Obama!” All I can do is hope that this decision will make more Americans aware of the dangers of having a health care system that relies on employers. If nothing else, this ruling demonstrates the need for a single payer system, one in which no one’s boss gets to have a say in their medical decisions.
Don’t even get me started on the “corporations as people” slant…
Clearly, there are a lot of political implications of this court decision.
But this decision is also about power. The case was not brought by a company owned by Scientologists who want to limit their employees’ access to anti-depressants or by Jehovah's Witnesses attempting to restrict worker access to blood transfusion. This was a case of conservative Christians opposing women’s reproductive rights.
And the decision was another in a dangerous pattern of laws, policies, and court decions that have sought to erode women’s reproductive rights within the USA.
Placing limitations on reproductive rights has been--and always will be--about placing limitations on women’s power.
We should all be concerned about this. And by “we” I don’t mean just women. It is time for more men to join the fight to protect reproductive rights in the USA--as they impact everyone. Safe and affordable access to birth control allows women and families to make decisions about when/whether to have children. Such power decreases infant and maternal mortality rates, increases women’s utilization of educational opportunities, increases women’s employment choices, and on and on. Several studies have shown that the status of women in a country is an important predictor of the general quality of life
My favorite history teacher in high school taught us about the social conditions needed for revolutions to occur. To sum it up in a grossly overgeneralized way (sorry, PVO!) revolutions require people to be at a “sweet spot” of discontent. When things are really terrible people are too busy trying to meet their basic needs they don’t have the energy to fight for more. And when things are “good enough” people don’t see the need to revolt. It takes just the right amount of excess resources and discontent to produce the conditions needed for people to work for change.
I can’t help but wonder where the sweet spot will be in regards to reproductive rights. When will we wake up and realize that the sky is falling—not all at once, but cloud by cloud as lawmakers and the courts erode reproductive freedoms in the USA? Let’s not wait until birth control becomes illegal in the country to stand up for reproductive rights.
Speak out. Protest. Sign petitions. Boycott companies. Support pro-choice legislation. Today is the day.
EMPOWERTAINMENT aims to take a critical look at media in regards to how gender and women/girls are portrayed. From popular articles, videos, and websites, to original submissions, we want to not only examine the media and its relation to gender, but help shift it.